News24.com | This life with Nthabi Nhlapo | Crying in a Ferrari draped in Prada. WikiHow's 12 steps to marrying rich

Marriage has never been the answer to society's economic problems, and it won't start now just because social media said so. but Nthabi Nhlapo admits the loneliness some people experience when they marry rich would probably slap differently if it finds you in a Ferrari, draped in Prada. 

When it comes to finances and relationships, there is one question that's always on the lips of social media users, and if we are to be honest, many others who have hopes of getting married: How do you find a rich man or woman to marry?

The jury is out on this one, and social media has been abuzz with conversations on this subject, with those who married rich and the wealthy putting their two cents or, rather, their millions' worth into the topic.

It's a reality that most of us dream about a financially-free future underpinned by opulence and no overdrawn credit cards in sight.

Social media platforms and the internet, in general, have made daydreams of grand living and eating sushi under the Dubai sun almost seem like the only way to live. However, this is not always a realistic picture of life, especially for women. According to research in American Sociological Review, the inequality between the one percent and the remaining 99 percent has been rising since the 1980s with few signs of decelerating.

READ | 'I married my husband for his money. Now I love him but it took some time'

Moreover, the research adds that "although self-employment and higher education increase the likelihood that women will personally earn sufficient income for one percent status, marrying a man with good income prospects is a woman's main route to the one percent".

The gender gap in earning has not narrowed since the mid-to late-1990s - men retain most of the primary breadwinning positions in top-income households. 

Given these realities, it's understandable why Insider carried an article titled: I've spent 20 years as an elite matchmaker for the ultra-wealthy, and there are 7 reasons why millionaires will marry one person instead of another.

In the article, Samantha Daniels, who runs the elite matchmaking service Samantha's Table, admits to setting up CEOs and entertainment execs, among other high-net-worth clients. "For millionaires, finding the one all comes down to timing and finding a partner who is a good fit, organised, and understanding - essentially, the whole package," the article states.

And there is a good reason why you should marry a millionaire, according to one article published in Brookings, which states that, the rich marrying the rich makes the income gap worse.

In the spirit of narrowing the income gap, you may be tempted to find your millionaire. And if WikiHow is anything to go by, it's only 12 steps away. The steps include:

Let's assume you successfully manage to Wiki your way into a million-dollar mansion and suddenly find yourself sporting a 55-carat diamond ring and a Rolex, the price of a house in Garsfontein, Pretoria. What can you expect your marriage to be like? Social media has the answer, it would seem. 

A TikToker named Izzy Anaya, who goes by the handle @avaragerichwife and alludes to marrying rich in her videos, recently shared her thoughts on what she believes women who aspire to marry rich should keep in mind. 

Raising kids on your own

"Be prepared to raise your kids on your own because your husband is not coming home at 5pm. I am currently at my country house - and I have a country house - but my husband isn't here because he had reports to get in for Monday, and he couldn't come… I go to couples dinners, school events, charity [events], everything alone. You cannot have honey home at five helping you raise the kids and fly around on a private plane. You have to pick one or the other," she shares.

She then explains the kind of women the wealthy seek out. "You have to be highly a highly competent woman that can keep calendar reminders, run a few households, keep your kids in order with zero help sometimes."

Lastly, she offers caution about how to thrive as you strut around on marble floors in your designer kitchen. 

As you may have noticed, these sound more like job specs than relationship requirements. And herein lies the danger of social media. As feminists and allies of women work hard to break down stereotypes about women's roles in relationships and homes, social media seems to be dragging us back to the Stone Age.

Granted, if someone enjoys a relationship rooted in traditional gender roles, then it's their prerogative to enjoy such a relationship. But we should avoid making this a template for marriage or any other aspect of life. As a side note: If you are marrying rich, would you not presumably afford to hire people to manage these issues requiring such high competence? Women should not be made to feel that to count or matter in society, they need to marry rich, marry at all or that when they do marry, they owe their partner labour to "pay for" their new "status".

Now that we're done daydreaming about taking social media's prescription pill to wealth, perhaps we need to consider that today's society, the youth in particular, need not be fixated on marrying rich to narrow the income gap, but instead on finding ways to provide opportunities to individuals who are willing to carve their own legacy.

Marriage has never been the answer to society's economic problems, and it won't start now just because social media said so. I must admit though, the loneliness would probably slap differently if it finds you in a Ferrari, draped in Prada and sipping on a glass of Moët & Chandon Imperial Vintage. But coffee and Cremora will have to do for now.

- Nthabi Nhlapo is a News24 editor of Relationships and Wellness.

*Want to respond to the columnist? Send your letter or article to opinions@news24.comwith your name and town or province. You are welcome to also send a profile picture. We encourage a diversity of voices and views in our readers' submissions and reserve the right not to publish any and all submissions received.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.